A curse?

"Two weeks after we went ashore, when Ed was chosen to go to Norfolk Island, I implored Lieutenant King to let me join him, but I was denied."

'Implored?' Susannah raised her eyebrow, 'a fussy word', she thought.

"As I watched the Supply disappear from view that day I remember my heart was heavy and thinking, Aileen, my family and now my only real friend are gone...and asking, what curse is it that I have upon me to be removed from everyone I love?"